All quotes from
Elaine's book
In some
cases, simply becoming conscious of what was usually unconscious would be
enough.
Almost
all the people you feel bad around are those by whom you feel ranked --
encompassing everything from a vague sense of being judged to an acknowledged
all-out competition that feels as if it is about deciding who is the better
person.
Shame is
particularly intense when pride precedes failure.
We have
six main self-protections: minimizing, blaming, noncompeting, overachieving,
inflating, and projecting. These
self-projections sometimes allow us to stay unaware of, or avoid, our worst
feelings.
Identifying
the causes of your feelings of shame and worthlessness will give you a better
idea of what triggers those feelings.
Emotions
are never "wrong". They just
happen, like the weather. But they can
be based on inaccuracies about what is happening.
