All quotes from
Stephan's book
Overnight
change takes fifteen years.
It isn’t
the issues we’re aware of that cause us all the personal heartache, but the
ones that are just outside our conscious field of vision and reach.
You can’t
let go of what you don’t know you’re holding.
Remember
that unless you are willing to try something new, nothing new is going to
happen in your life.
All addictions, self-destructive behaviors,
and choices are driven by the need for love, acceptance, and emotional support.
Being
clear about and responsible for your actions and emotional responses is the
pathway to secure and powerful relationships.
Defensiveness
keeps the changes from happening in your life.
No one
can approve, love, or accept you, unless you do it first.
Can you
be calm, clear, and confident of your own empowered approach to your
relationships?
Pausing
and rethinking your emotional “hot spots” will give you the control and clarity
that you crave.
Verbalizing our feelings is one of the
quickest ways to go around our defense mechanisms. Our inner thoughts and emotions tend to come
out only when we start to talk about our pain.
Thinking and speaking are two very different psychological processes
that access different parts of our emotions and repressed feelings. There is only one way to get your story out
of your head: begin to tell the unedited story.
It is
very difficult for a deprived adult to be patient or calm when she is feeling
neglected or unimportant.
Life has
a way of pointing out our blind spots, and it is our responsibility to take
action on these new insights when we understand them.
We only
consider change when our pain threshold is exceeded.
