All quotes from
Maureen's book
Finding
value in suffering is the core of post-traumatic growth.
Acceptance
is an active word.
Become aware of the self-defeating “if-then” rules you are using.
[if you do ___, then I will ___ ].
Since
many of [our] mental processes are happening below the level of consciousness,
we are often unaware of how we are thinking or responding, and so we make up
stories to explain ourselves.
Part of
the experience of being at your best is the realization that there is as much
to be learned – and sometimes more—from the setbacks in your life as from the
successes.
To
flourish, people need to make a connection between the practical things they
are doing and some deeper value that motivates them.
Positive
emotions broaden, build and transform us.
If
you feel good, you are more likely to do good.
To
flourish in your life, to build flourishing relationships, teams – and, indeed,
a flourishing society – it pays to take happiness seriously.
[A
2005 study] concluded that about 50% of happiness is inheritable. Some life circumstances – being married,
having a good job and an adequate income, being healthy, being religious—each
matter to happiness but, added all together, they account for just 10% of
overall happiness. The remainder, a full
40% of happiness, derives from our intentional activities.
The only
way to eat an elephant is bite by bite.
We can
all too easily become trapped in a blur of “busyness” that is disconnected from
any vital purpose or intention, or we may feel trapped by inertia.
Our
experiences of the day are not the things that happen to us. Rather, our experiences are what we create
and recreate by how we direct our attention and our thinking throughout the
day. As the days pass, those accumulated
experiences becomes our life.
Emotions
carry with them a certain perception of centre that may not reflect your actual
control, or lack of it, in reality.
Unless you are aware of it, you will assume that your perception of
control equates to real control.
The brain
is “an anticipation machine”, always readying itself for the next moment.
Your
brain directs your attention not just to what you can do now, but to what you
could do next.
Moods are
more free-floating, diffuse, hovering at the back of your mind. While emotions demand immediate attention and
action, moods are more subtle, not associated with any particular urge to do
anything.
Moods are
provoked by an emotional reaction to an event…. Moods are not just watered-down
feelings. While both may be instigated by the same event, they are very
different processes and serve different psychological needs. Emotions alert us
threats and opportunities; they are the generals calling for action. Moods …
are in charge of the supply line.
Moods…
give you a constant read-out of how resourceful or depleted you feel.
Mood is a
big, big factor in how you express your portfolio of strengths and weaknesses.
Negative
emotions are reactions to threats of any kind…. Positive emotions are our first
reactions when confronted with opportunities…. The more unexpected the
opportunity or threat, the stronger the emotion.
When you
develop a habit of gratitude, you notice other people’s generosity.
People in flow report feeling relaxed, at ease, energetic. Their concentration is so complete that they
no longer think of themselves as separate from what they are doing. They no longer have to think about what to do
next; each action carries them forward effortlessly.
There are
always choices in how we interpret what is happening to us and how we respond.
What
you prioritize – the things you choose to spend your time and energy on –
reflect your true hierarchy of values, not what you say your values are.
