To act
altruistically is to take unselfish actions that enhance the welfare of others,
usually at some cost or risk to our own well-being. When we are able o stand firm in altruism, we
encounter each other without the shadow of expectation and need lurking between
us.
Altruism happens
when our impulse to serve others overrides our fear and our instincts of
self-preservation.
Altruism that is
sourced in fear, the unconscious need for social approval, the compulsion to
fix other people, or unhealthy power dynamics easily crosses the line into
harm.
If we can't regulate
our empathy, we may suffer personal distress and be unable to serve, or we may
react defensively and unskillfully and cause harm to others and ourselves.
Helping, fixing, and
rescuing are unhealthy forms of altruism.
Grounding helps us
discern which action might best serve the situation -- and when doing nothing
could be the most compassionate response.
Healthy empathy
leads us toward connection and skillful action.
When our integrity
is compromised, we feel divided inside and separated from our values.
Moral remainder, the
painful emotional residue that lingers following actions that violate one's
sense of integrity…. Moral remainder was an important part of building
resilience.
Gratitude is an
expression of integrity.
The conscious
practice of gratitude is the way out of the poverty mentality that erodes the
heart and with it, our integrity.
In order to feel
respect, we must be grounded in integrity, understanding, and
self-knowledge. To show respect to
others we must communicate truthfully and constructively, keeping our promises,
upholding dignity, and honoring choices and boundaries.
Respect and
disrespect are closely linked with power dynamics: power with and power over.
On the level of
personality, bullies feel a false sense of superiority that is sourced in
feelings of inferiority, unacknowledged shame, a lack of self-awareness,
emotional blunting and blindness, and the defense mechanism of objectifying
others.
Respect is an
offspring of integrity and empathy.
You cannot become
enlightened by being busy.
Our deeper identity
lies less in what we do and more in how we hold what we do -- how we engage.
When our engagement
gets off-balance and our work seems driven by fear, escapism, or compulsion, we
are vulnerable to burnout.
Aimlessness is a
natural part of life, and many of us have forgotten how to be without a goal
and let go and wander.
