Attitudinal healing
is based on the principle that it is not other people or situations that
ultimately cause us to be upset. Rather,
it is our own thoughts and attitudes about those things that are responsible
for our distress, and the actions we take as a result of those thoughts and
attitudes that can hurt us.
Forgiveness is,
quite simply, the decision not to suffer.
To forgive is to
make the decision to be happy, to let go of judgments, to stop hurting others
and ourselves, and to stop recycling anger and fear.
When the traumatic
events of life happen, some never recover and people continue to feel bitter,
angry, and unhappy the rest of their lives.
They continue to scratch their injuries so continuously that their
wounds never heal.
Fear always distorts
our perception and confuses us to what is going on.
We all manufacture
our own dust and static that serve only to interfere with seeing, hearing, and
experiencing Love within ourselves and others.
This self-imposed interference keeps us stuck in an old belief system that
we use repeatedly, even though it doesn't get us what we want.
With peace of mind
as our single goal, forgiveness becomes our single function. Forgiveness is the vehicle used for
correcting our misperceptions and for helping us let go of fear.
Many of us become
frustrated when we make the mistake of trying to love others as the first
step. In light of our past distorted
values and experiences, some people simply seem unlovable; because of our
faulty perception of their behavior, it is difficult to love them.
Our belief system is
based on our past experience, which is constantly being relived in the present,
with an anticipation of the future being just like the past. Our present perceptions are so colored by the
past that we are unable to see the immediate happening in our lives without
distortion and limitations.
By choosing Love
more consistently than fear, we can changed the nature and the quality of our
relationships.
Attacking always
stems from fear and guilt.
Fear is really a
call for help, and therefore a request for Love.
True acceptance is
always without demands and expectations.
When we find
ourselves irritated, depressed, angry, or ill, we can be sure we have chosen
the wrong goal and are responding to fear.
Forgiveness is the
vehicle for changing our perceptions and letting go of our fears, condemning
judgments, and grievances.
