We see that everything happens through the lens of the sense of self
and, since this as been going on all our lives, we take it for granted that
experience must always be colored by the sense of self. This is why awakening is so important: we can
no longer take the sense of self for granted because with awakening we see a
clear alternative to the sense of self.
Violated
expectations occur when two realities clash: the expected reality and the
transpired reality.
We know
that our life is not satisfactory because, at some level we know that our life
is artificial, unnatural. This knowing –
knowing that artificiality, that meaninglessness of so much of what we do –
drives us to practice.
You are
all that happens. You are not a happening; you’re not something within the
happening.
In life
pain comes to us…. Our choice is really not whether we are going to suffer or
not, whether we are going to have pain or not.
Our choice is merely between pain and pain, whether we are going to face
it intentionally or whether we are going to be a victor of it.
Awakening
does not grow on high, dry ground, but on the mud and swamps.
We are
always looking for what we understand, or for what we feel we can do or cope
with. Or, we look for something that we
feel is going to benefit us in some way.
In other words, our practice is a way by which we are constantly looking
for some easy path. When the practice
becomes easy, we feel “this is good, now at least I’m getting somewhere”.
Humiliation
undoubtedly is the greatest ally of a person who is serious in his practice can
have. It truly has no parallel. Used
wisely and without cowering, it corrodes the ego like acid.
Our
relationships often have an “ego affirming aspect”.
Our need
to be the center is paramount, whether as the center of power or the center of
attention.
As long
as you insist on your way of feeling the situation ought to unroll then you
will suffer the feeling of injustice accompanied by frustration, resentment and
all the other emotions arise out of an unreconciled conflict.
Nothing
needs to be done. But unless you have
practiced as though your hair were on fire you will never know this for
yourself.
Any truth you get
from books, from teachers or from Buddha or Christ, is the reflection of your
own truth.
Thoughts themselves
are not the problem. The problem is that
we take them seriously.
Awakening itself
does not bestow any kind of power, wisdom, compassion, or any magical
capability.
Realize
that the feelings of wonder, joy, clarity that you will find, all come from
you: none of it comes from the teacher.
The
personality is based on separation, and separation is a wound in being. The
scar tissue—hatred—covers up the wound, and makes it possible to live more
comfortably. As we practice, hatred is melted down, and we are exposed to the
suffering of the wound in being.
To attain
the Great Way of the Buddha is to see that there is no Great Way of the Buddha
to attain.
The
greatest hindrance to using pain in a creative and beneficial way is that most
of us do not suffer one pain but two pains.
There is, for example, the pain in the legs, but there is also the pain
“I hurt”: it is the pain of self-pity; this pain is supported by the feelings
of the “injustice” of the pain.
Allow
what is happening to happen. This is difficult to do, because when we open
ourselves to what is happening we drop our protective devices, and so the
confusion and conflicts in our life begin to emerge.
To allow things to
happen is only possible if we understand that all our endeavors to control
situations end sooner or later in more conflict and confusion, and more
discomfort and pain.
There are two
sufferings: the inherent pain of life and the “I hurt”. The “I hurt” is evident when one complains
about the pain, when one feels that it is unfair: the one should not have to
suffer in this way, that it is other peoples’ fault, or the fault of
circumstances.
There is
no contradiction between being present and suffering intensely. One simply allows the suffering to be. Unfortunately, many people, even people who
have practiced some form of the spiritual way for a long time, believe that it
is, or should be, a free ride. These
people practice what the masters called dead void sitting, or sitting in the
cave of pseudo-emancipation.
The depth
of the realization will not depend on your trust in me: it will depend on your
trust in me and in the trust you have of your own conviction. “I am spiritual” is half the truth; “I am not
spiritual” is the other half. You must
go beyond both for the complete truth.
Inanimate
things preach the dharma. “Being” is
what you are teaching.
We cannot
choose whether we are going to suffer or not.
Life determines that. What we can
choose is how we are going to suffer: walking with head high or on all fours
like a dog.
As we
practice it becomes ever more clear that we are the agents of our own pain,
that situations are not painful, but our attitude towards them makes them so,
and this realization in turn becomes painful.
We are
not part of the whole; each is the whole. It is like a holograph.
People
who come to practice seem to doubt everything – about how to proceed, about
their own authenticity, about their ability to pursue “the way” – and all they
ever seek is to soothe this inner wound.
Awakening
is sudden, unmistakable and cognitive.
It is not an experience, but a change in the way you experience. If it is deep enough, it will be accompanied
by an experience.
You could
look upon thoughts as something similar to waves on a lake. What is important is that the lake should
become deeper, not that the surface should become calmer.
The fear
comes because the sense of self is under threat: the threat comes from the
practice that we are doing and from the truth that is emerging.
Most
people try to find some way out of the pain of life by doing things or getting
things, by trying to be important, to have power or to get the admiration of
others. But some grow weary of this kind
of life and yearn for something more, without really knowing what this
“something more” would be. The yearning
for something more is the basis of practice; that “not knowing” is the
question.
Cease
being interested in your thoughts; but do not strive to get rid of them.
