Our resentments and
self-centeredness, as familiar as they are, are not our basic nature.
In the face of
anything we don't like, we automatically try to escape.
Unconsciously we
expect that if we could just get the right job, the right partner, the right
something, our lives would run smoothly.
Shenpa itself is not
the problem. The ignorance that doesn't
acknowledge that you're hooked, that just goes unconscious and allows you to
act it out --- that's the problem.
Rather than getting
so caught up in the drama of who did what to whom, we could simply recognize
that we're all worked up and stop fueling our emotions with our stories. It's not so easy to do, but it's the key to our
wellbeing.
Our repetitive
suffering does not come from this uncomfortable sensation but from what happens
next, what I've been calling following the momentum, spinning off, or getting
swept away. It comes from rejecting our
own energy when it comes in a form we don't like.
How we relate moment
by moment to what is happening on the spot is all there really is.
Being able to
acknowledge shenpa, being able to know that we are getting stuck, this is the
basis of freedom.
The ideal spiritual
journey needs the balance of "gloriousness" and
"wretchedness".
Each of us has our
own capacity for prejudice, and it's very common to justify it when it comes
up. Our fixed ideas about
"them" arise quickly.
When we pause, when
we touch the energy of the moment, when we slow down and allow a gap,
self-existing openness comes to us.
Usually when we're
all caught up, we're so engrossed in our storyline that we lose our
perspective.
The natural warmth
that emerges when we experience pain includes all the heart qualities: love, compassion, gratitude, tenderness in
any form. It also includes loneliness,
sorrow, and the shakiness of fear.
Before these vulnerable feelings harden, before the storylines kick in,
these generally unwanted feelings are pregnant with kindness, with openness and
caring.
The life span of any
particular emotion is only one and a half minutes. After that we have to revive the emotion and
get it going again. Our usual process is
that we automatically do revive it by feeding it with an internal conversation
about how another person is the source of our discomfort.
The peace that we
are looking for is not peace that crumbles as soon as there is difficulty or
chaos.
We have the
opportunity to lead our lives in such a way that year by year we'll be less
afraid, less threatened, and more able to spontaneously help others without
asking ourselves, "What's in this for me?"
The boddhisattva or
spiritual warrior begins the journey by looking honestly at the current state
of his or her mind and emotions. The
path of saving others from confusion starts with our willingness to accept
ourselves without deception.
